Unlovable


I finally heard from my mom for the first time in weeks, and it was all for money. So I asked her if she planned on giving me my dog back and she said she had him to the vet and that he had a broken rib and I’m sitting here like I know I didn’t break his rib and did she actually even take him to the vet? I told her she owes Jazmine an apology and she said she doesn’t owe Jazmine anything. And I think that’s a no to getting my dog back. Continue reading

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Two Sides Of Me

The feature picture describes me so well. It’s like I have two sides of me; a happy side and a depressed side, and they happen to be stuck together right now. Or it’s more like good vs. bad internally. Continue reading

Mixed Emotions & New Opportunities


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Something amazing came up, and the first thing I wanted to do was call my mom to tell her this awesome new… then I stopped and thought, “Oh yeah, we’re not talking!” That completely screwed with my emotions. I was just so excited and then lost it. She has not tried to contact me and neither has any of my siblings from her side. I tried to call my aunt and pretty much got the hint that there is no relationship there either.

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Looking For A Writer


Hey Guys,

So I am looking for an author/writer for this site. Unfortunately, I cannot pay much at the moment since this site does not bring in any revenue yet. But I am getting ready to upgrade to the highest packages with the most features. I need to get more articles and content on here in the meantime so that people actually have something to read other than the three articles I was able to get up last week and the links redirecting everyone to BabyGaga’s site. I can basically “tip” people as of right now for writing content, and we can work something out.

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Bittersweet Tragedy

Venting Sessions


I was about to get all of my stuff moved out of my mom and brothers house today thanks to my friend Megan. She was the one who helped me move into my moms, and now she was the one to help me move out of my moms. I know Mike would have helped too if my family wouldn’t have been so damn stubborn to not allow him in the house to help me. Continue reading

I Can’t Deal With This Mess


I keep bouncing in between feeling hurt and sad to feeling extremely angry regarding the current predicament that I find myself in. I am starting to wonder if my family does little things just to try setting me off. Like, my sister (not Crystal) has never posted up so many pictures and posts involving Max until after everything happened. As a matter of fact, I don’t think she ever posted anything about him. It’s like they are trying to rub it in my face that they stole my dog.  Continue reading

Can I Start Over?

 


It took me three days to complete an article, which is not like me at all. Anyone that knows me knows that I mass produce articles or I will try to complete at least one article per day. I had such severe writer’s block that I couldn’t even write an entire blog post. I kept starting them, getting a paragraph or so in and then deleting them. Continue reading

“I Hate Everything About You”

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Venting Sessions


This is going to be a super quick post. I just needed to take a second and vent (because I really have to get back to my article lol). I feel like everyone around me, well maybe not everyone, but a decent handful of people at the least, expect me to stay silent about so much. I cannot say what I want to, or even what I need to say to the certain person or persons in my life due to certain circumstances right now. I know that if I lose my temper now, there will be repercussions. I have to try my hardest to bite my tongue, and that is proving to be quite difficult. Continue reading

It Wasn’t Supposed To Happen This Way

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Sure, You Can Blame It On Me… Again.


So much has happened and gone wrong, that I don’t even know where to start right now. Continue reading

What It Reminds Me Of & Other Stuff


I’ve been having a hard time processing Wade’s death and I couldn’t figure out why. I mean, yeah, he was my godkids father. So, yes, I feel beyond horrible with what they are going through, and with what my best friend is going through, but I just couldn’t place why it was eating at me so bad. Continue reading

Overdose: It Can Happen To Anyone, At Any Age


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An overdose can happen to anyone, at any age. Not only does an overdose affect the life of the person who chose to put the drugs into their system, but it affects the lives of everyone that they know, or even knew. Continue reading

Fight Or Flight Complex: I Almost Always Take Flight


I had a boringly eventful day. One might ask how something is boringly eventful. Well, what I mean by that is that I have had a pretty boring day (I spent about 90% of my waking day writing and doing outlines, and finding new articles to write for babygaga) but yet there was something that happened that kind of made the day eventful (not necessarily in a good way either).

I had a talk with my mom about moving back in with Mike. Somehow, it must have slipped her mind that we already had this talk the day I came back from my first couples therapy with Mike. Let me just say it did not go over too well. By the end of it, she said that she will not be going to that apartment to be visiting me. She said that she wants to be able to “speak her mind” to him and tell him how she really feels about everything that went on, apparently just like she did with my ex’s after them and I broke up.

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Getting My Life Back


I feel like I have really been neglecting my blog lately, and I kind of have. Just not intentionally. I have been super busy with writing articles. I have been mass producing them pretty much. Usually, it takes me an entire day to write one, but lately, I have been able to write two and a half a day, PLUS be able to complete a few outlines. I think that is only because I am starting to get kind of hypomanic/borderline manic. But hey, what else can I say other than things are starting to look up… 😆

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Broken (Again)


I’ve wanted to post something for a while now, but just haven’t totally what to say or write. My life has been flipped upside down and I feel like I have lost so much. So, Mike left me. We are done and over and it hurts so much. I really thought that we were going to be together for a long time. I feel like I have wasted the last 5 years of my life. All the joy, pain, and struggling was all for nothing.

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Completely Heartbroken

 

Completely Heartbroken 💔


I’m drowning again, only this time I have a legitimate reason for being pulled under the water this time around. Sometime this morning when Mike, my boyfriend, wakes up he is going to be calling his dad to try to have him help find new living arrangements for himself. He’s leaving me. We didn’t even really have our normal full blown fight, it was very minor. He just wanted me to come to bed with him but I said no because I wasn’t ready to go to bed at the time. Next thing I know he’s saying he doesn’t want to be with me anymore and breaking up with me.  Continue reading

Anxiety & Insomnia: August 18, 2017 2:45am

So, I did end up getting paid. Babygaga is a legit company, however, I still have no cash in hand. I’m stuck waiting for PayPal to transfer it to my bank, and then floor my bank to release it to me. I’m a highly impatient person, and I’ve been workout real income since March so I really, really needed this money ASAP. I know I’ve waited this long, so what’s one more day. Logically, that makes so much sense, but I’m not always a logic person.

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Early Morning Anxiety

I just seem to be feeling overly anxious at the moment, and I only just woke up less than an hour ago. I cannot get my mind to just stop running wild. Today I will be getting my first paycheck from Babygaga. It still feels kind of unreal to me. Like, how did I get a job writing articles for a living? I’m not fully going to believe it until that money is my account, I guess. I really should’ve asked my editor what time they usually deposit the pay at so I’m not anxiously waiting like some crazy person. (Oh, wait. I am some crazy person!) Continue reading

The Adventure Begins

 

The Adventure Begins


I am finally getting back to normal, and I love it! I was in such a bad spot with that depressive episode. Sleep was impossible, but that was all I wanted to do. I couldn’t sleep because my mind would not stop racing with all these horrible negative thoughts. I didn’t want to do anything, go anywhere, or even see anyone. I just wanted to disappear, and I was making plans to do so. I don’t think I ever felt that low in my life. I thought it was going to last forever, that I would be trapped inside my own mind thinking all these crazy things. Continue reading

Looking Up: For Today


I am too scared to say that my depression has lifted because I don’t want to get my hopes up. What I can say is that, for today, things are looking up. Just because I have had one good day, for the first time in weeks, does not mean that I am miraculously cured, but I guess it’s a start, right? Continue reading