Procrastination At It’s Finest


procrastination_gif_by_pastelwolf101-dak1muy

I have been having so many issues with procrastinating today. I was able to work pretty solid earlier in the day, and even completes and submitted an article. Afterwards, I just could not motivate myself to really get much work down. Even now by blogging, I am procrastinating. I should be working on my article that is due tomorrow since it is pretty in-depth and needs a decent amount of research done in order to write it, but instead, I have been helping my sister with her outline, chatting on Facebook, and pretty much everything else besides getting my work done. This is procrastination at it’s finest. Continue reading

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My Bipolar Life: My Mixed Episode

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So, I have come to the conclusion that I am in a mixed bipolar episode, yet again. For like the millionth time in my life. At first, I couldn’t figure out why I would be up and down at the same time totally. I have manic and depression tendencies at the same time. I’m hardly sleeping, I am writing like I am an in a manic episode, I am dealing with severe agitation, I have all the manic symptoms minus anything euphoric. I am also depressed and low, struggling with self-esteem issues more than normal (which generally is pretty bad to begin with, however, it is just that much worse than normal). I just don’t want to be dealing with stuff. Plus, all the other depression symptoms that people like myself just adore (sarcasm in case you couldn’t tell). I’m definitely in a mixed episode.  Continue reading

Overdose: It Can Happen To Anyone, At Any Age


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An overdose can happen to anyone, at any age. Not only does an overdose affect the life of the person who chose to put the drugs into their system, but it affects the lives of everyone that they know, or even knew. Continue reading

Visual Exercises For Letting Go Of Throughts

 

Visual Exercises For Letting Go Of Thoughts


Letting go of negative thoughts can be very hard at times. Sometimes it helps to just visualize your thoughts leaving your mind in different ways rather than sitting there and dwelling on them. Overthinking will just make things worse in the end.

Here are a few visualization exercises to try to help let go of your negative thoughts (from the book 30 Minute Therapy for Anxiety):

Continue reading

Thinking About Life: July 11, 2017


After careful consideration, I have decided to quit my ghostwriting job. It just was not worth it anymore. I sent them an email about it and their only response back was literally, “Oh, wow!” and I have not heard anything since. I was so nervous when I did it. Continue reading

July 9, 2017 @ 5AM

 

Writing


I am not exactly sure how I have been feeling lately. Probably all over the place per my usual self, I guess. I have not been able to keep up with blogging lately, I am slammed with articles between BabyGaga.com and ghostwriting. I am trying to do both and it is taking a serious toll on me. I tried telling the lady I am ghostwriting for that I can only do 2-3 articles for her a week and I basically for chewed out so I need to try to find a way to maintain 6 articles a week for them. But honestly, it is not worth the pay and headache anymore. Continue reading

July 4th, 2017

 

July 4th, 2017


Introduction

Today has been pretty good for me while also marking my first 4th of July Sober. But I managed to make it through with of too much of an issue. I did not even get my a** to a meeting like I should have. Then again, I also did not get any sleep like I should have… I have not been to bed yet and I tried everything I could think of, besides illegal stuff and drugs and alcohol, to get me to sleep but to no avail. (So, I am hoping the Unisom I took mixed with my Remeron will help me sleep tonight finally.)  Continue reading

Keeping A Gratitude Journal

 

Keeping A Gratitude Journal


The Dictionary.com definition of Gratitude is: the quality or feeling of being grateful or thankful. Keeping a gratitude journal of positive experiences can help us remember the good things that have happened to us on our worst day. Even when we are having a bad day, it is good to be able to pick out what you are thankful for. Try to write between at least 3-5 gratitude journal entries a day. 

Continue reading

How To Counter A Negative Automatic Thing

 

How To Counter A Negative Automatic Thought

Automatic thoughts are the first things, or thoughts, that come to our mind when something happens. Sometimes, these thoughts happen so quickly we don’t even realize they are happening until the negative thought is stuck in our head, and then we don’t know how to get rid of that negative thought once it’s there. Continue reading

Journaling And Mental Illness

Journaling & Mental Illness


Journaling can be an important and beneficial factor in mental illness. It can help improve your overall mental well-being because it can create a healthy outlet to express your emotions. A lot of people that struggle with any type of mental illness, or addiction, tend to stuff their emotions deep down inside of themselves, or they try to release them or cope with them, in unhealthy manners.

I’ve been there, and every now and then I still resort to unhealthy means to release my emotions, but journaling is what has been one of the best coping mechanisms that have ever been suggested to me. Everyone is different, and different things work for different people, but journaling is something that has worked for so many people that I have come into contact with, and I highly recommend it to people that struggle with getting their feelings and emotions out and suggest that it should be tried at least once. What could it hurt, right? It’s literally just putting a pen to a piece of paper, or even your hands to your keyboard.

When a person journals, they can let out their innermost thoughts that they wouldn’t dare share with another soul. You can be your true genuine self, and never feel judged by anyone because you are not writing for anyone else’s enjoyment. You are solely writing to be able to get out whatever it is that you are holding inside. Whatever you are writing doesn’t even have to make sense. It could be incomplete thoughts or just random words. It’s whatever you are feeling at that particular moment in time.

I have heard people say that they don’t want to journal because they are worried that someone else in their household may find their journal and read their private thoughts. I get that. When you write something that is meant for your eyes only, you want to keep it that way. There are a few different forms or means of journaling that can be done if you are worried about the traditional diary style due to lack of privacy.

Here are some options to try instead:


Online Diary/Journals:

If you fear that prying eyes might see a traditional journal you can always sign up for an online account somewhere. This is one I have used in the past, and they even have an app you can download on your smartphone.PrivateDiary.net and with this one, it is username and password protected so no one but you can access it. You can even sync the app and the online site so you can create entries either way and never lose track of anything. It also allows you to upload pictures to your entries as well. If you decide you really don’t like the way this journal is set up, just type in “online diary” into a search engine and tons of results will pop up. Just keep searching until something catches your eye.


Word Documents/Processers:

If your computer is password protected, and you never have to worry about anyone going through your files, you can always create your own journal using something like Google Docs, MS Word, etc… and just saving the files right to your computer. Maybe create a specific folder like, “My Journal” or “My Thoughts” and saving your entries in there.


Create & Trash:

If you are severely worried about someone seeing what your private thoughts are, then you can always physically write out all your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Then after you are done just rip up the paper and throw it away, burn it, shred it, or discard it however you see fit.


Smartphones:

If you have a smartphone then you automatically have a journal or diary at your fingertips. If you have an Android device, all you have to do is go to the Google Play Store and search for “Diary Apps” and hundreds of them will come up. Just look for one you will like. Another option is just to create journal entries using your memo or notepad within your phone.


Email:

You could always create a folder and label it “My Journal” or something of the sorts, and create journal entries in your personal email account, send them to yourself and then save them in your designated saved folder.


There are obviously lots of creative ways to create and manage a journal without having to keep a physical copy in today’s day and age. Almost everything is digital now. As for myself, I still love to have a physical copy because I enjoy putting a pen to a piece of paper.

Every means of mental health and addictions treatment that I have ever come across, since 2001, has suggested that I journal, and I have been doing it ever since. I go through phases where I will journal rigorously every day for chunks of time, then I will go periods of time where I won’t journal at all, then I will journal in moderation. And what I have come to the realization of, is that during the periods of time when I am the most routinely active in my journaling, is when my emotions are the most manageable. I seem to have less frequent crying spells because I am not bottling up as much inside of me.

Now, what I mean by routinely active, is that I am not obsessively writing, but I am also not infrequently writing either. When I am not at either extreme is when I am at my best, which at times that gets hard to come by since I am bipolar, and what is bipolar other than polar opposites.

So, if you have never tried journaling as a way to get your emotions out, give it a try. Just one time. Learning a new coping skill mechanism is always a thing of great value because you never know when life may throw something new your way that your current coping skill may not be suitable for. What works for you one day, may not work for you the next. That’s the thing about mental illness, it’s not always predictable and neither is life.


Hope This Helps 😀 -Samantha ♥

Preparing For Your Psych Appointment

Preparing For Your Psych Appointment

Most people don’t bother preparing for their appointments because either they don’t see the point in it, they think it’s a waste of time, or they think they already know everything they want to mention. But how many times have you left an appointment and thought, “Oh man, I completely forgot to mention that!” or “Oh, yeah I need a refill on that!” I know I have done it plenty of times before I actually started jotting down notes on things I want or need to mention. My mom had been trying to get me do this for years and then one day after forgetting to mention a really important side effect it finally clicked. So thank you for that mom!

Now that almost everyone has smartphones glued to their faces, all you have to do is create a list of things you should mention or bring up during your next appointment right in your phone’s memo or notepad. Lists and memos are not just for our parents and grandparents anymore. If you want to take change or your own health then this is something that you should really start getting in the habit of doing. 

Just because I am labeling this is “Preparing For A Psych Appointment” does not mean that you cannot apply this to any other appointment you may have as well.

Creating a list of notes for your upcoming appointment is probably the best thing you could do to avoid leaving anything out. There’s no harm in being too thorough.

Here’s an example of what my list would look like:

  1. Medication Issues
    • Side Effects
    • Decreased Effectiveness
    • Noticing No Changes (especially with new meds)
    • Have I started/stopped any meds?
      • What Over-the-counter meds am I taking?
      • Has a different provider (Family Doctor, Neurologist, Etc..) started me on a new med?
  2. Mood Changes
    • New/Worsening Symptoms
    • If I am having “episodes” and for how long?
      • Such as an actual Manic or Depressive episode.
  3. Self-Injurious Behaviors +/-
  4. How many hours am I sleeping on average?
  5. Any notable appetite changes?
  6. Any psychosis/hallucinations?
  7. Any dissociative episodes?
  8. Any Insurance/Income Changes?
  9. Any Major Life Events?
    • Major Life Events should be noted because these could affect mood and overall well-being. (This includes, but is not limited too; Divorce, Marriage, Job Change/Loss, Move, Death in the family, Pregnancy, etc…)
  10. Noticeable weight change?
  11. Are there any bothersome physical issues?
    • Dizziness, Headaches, etc…

 

This may seem like an extensive list, but too much information for a doctor to have is never a bad thing. It is always best to cover your bases when it comes to your health, especially your mental health. Not only does your mental health affect your mind, but it can affect your body as well.

Now, my list won’t necessarily look like your list. Everyone is different and has their own unique bases to cover. I just happen to have a lot of issues to generally discuss during my appointments. After dealing with my mental health for over 15 years, I try to get the most out of every appointment because my main goal is recovery and getting better. I try to utilize my time and make sure I keep my doctors informed so they can also keep track if they think I am making progress or regressing.

I hope someone can get some use out this. It’s definitely worth it. I wish I would have started making checklists for my appointments sooner. It would have saved me so much time, and so many unnecessary phone calls.

 

Sea Isle City ’17: Day 6

 

Sea Isle City 2017: Day 6 (Thursday)

For the first time since I have been on vacation, I did not isolate… at least fully. I spent some time working on my one article, even though my focus was horrific for some reason today. I just could not focus. My boyfriend and I talked about leaving and coming home today, but we ended up staying. Even though I am pretty homesick, I am glad we decided to stay in a way. I actually had a decent time today. Continue reading

Sea Isle City ’17: Day 5

Sea Isle City 2017: Day 5 (Wednesday)

I am absolutely mentally exhausted. On top of my normal 6 articles a week, I had to do an extra 2 more due to another writer having an emergency. These articles should have been so simple, but they were in a new format and style for me, so I had to learn something brand new and from scratch which took up a lot of time. Continue reading

Sea Isle City ’17: Day 3


Today was a pretty bland day for me. I don’t think I really left the beach house we were staying at, except for stopping and picking up pizza. I really isolated today. In my defense though, the weather was pretty crappy. It was windy and cloudy. I was also assigned 6 new articles today which are all due within the next 6 days. I don’t know how I am supposed to be on “vacation” while still attempting to get all 6 articles done. Continue reading

Sea Isle City ’17: Day 2

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My boyfriend & I


Since I am using writing as my main coping mechanism for my mental health and addiction issues, I have come to the conclusion that it is probably in my best interest to try to add at least one blog post daily. Blogging, and writing in general, are very therapeutic for me. I honestly don’t know where I would be without it. Probably still using alcohol and drugs is my guess, along with being a total emotional wreck instead of a partial one. Continue reading

Poison Bottle – Poem By: Gary B

Old Liquor Bottle

Joy through the bottle,
did never I find.
I was locked in a prison within my own mind,
Darkness and fear
encircled my head,
better I thought that I should be dead.
But a light came upon me,
as I kneeled down to pray.
Now happy and sober,
I’ve been to this day.
Thank you Father.


This is a Poem created by a follower Gary B. Click Here to see it at poetry.com

June 17, 2017 S.I.C., NJ

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I guess it’s safe to say I made it to my destination without much of an issue. I wish I could say I have been having the time of my life since I’ve gotten here, but that would be an outright lie. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I have enjoyed myself at times. But at other times, I’ve felt like I was crawling out of my skin. Continue reading

The Bottle Took Her

I feel kind of ridiculous now for posting about how going on vacation is going to be hard for me because of much I am going to want to drink. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it still rings true. However, I found out this afternoon that my Aunt Laura passed away and that it was alcohol related. Continue reading

*Fwd From Another Blog*

We learn something new every day, they say, and learning to accomplish a mammoth task like overcoming addiction means you will learn more than one thing on your journey.

via What Suffering an Addiction Really Teaches Us — When Women Inspire